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The internet said it and now this guy is saying it. I was excited to go out and meet some girls after hearing this. I had just lost weight, ended a 6-year relationship with my white girlfriend, quit my job, and recently taken a strong interest in improving my life and luck with girls — to give some context. It was myself and three other white dudes in Japan, and for the next few months me and my buddies went out about nights a week.

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Two of my friends were tall, good looking and fit guys — like with abs and everything. The third guy was a skinny guy with glasses. Language barriers, cultural barriers, shame barriers, weird taboos all hit us like a bag of bricks. One of the guys in our travel group even left the country three weeks early, even after paying a full month of rent, out of frustration — this, mind you, was one of the fit tall guys.

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All of this had no real meaning to me at the time. I was having fun and did meet a lot of awesome girls. Japan was just one place, right? Each country I visit I also travel with a crew, normally guys at a time, and always a racially diverse group.

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Now that everyone is pissed, let me explain why I think this. That being said, telling me, a white guy, how people respond to me romantically when you yourself are not a white guy automatically makes your opinion have less weight than mine — this is obvious but often a forgotten point.

Communicating with another person who does not speak your language or speaks it poorly is a challenging task that even guys who are very good with girls will struggle with. Talking slowly, removing words like determinersand using non-verbal communication facial expression, pointing adds an entire level of challenges.

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These challenges can be common with Asian girls, and is a virtual certainty with native Asian girls. Not all Asian cultures are the same, but most have commonalities that are similar or consistent in most. Views on sex, status, interracial dating, affection in public, marriage, humor and even talking to strangers can be taboo. An example of this would be in Korea — heavy eye contact can be considered rude, and thus giving a girl eye contact may cause anxiety instead of attraction.

Another example of this would be kissing or hugging in public, which is considered taboo in Japan; even established couples may not do it.

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This, in my opinion, is the most challenging reality of approaching and dating Asian girls. Many Asian girls are programmed to suppress their interest in sex and intimacy, hide it or deny it. Other examples include girls covering their faces after sex or kissing, admitting they really enjoy it but feel bad as if they committed a crime. Most of this shame comes from sexually frustrated men who take out their inner sadness on women by shaming them.

Any self-aware man who was once really bad with women knows that shaming women for their sexuality is a way to deal with the frustration of not being a part of it. In many parts of the East, talking to a stranger is taboo and even scary. Take a ride on a train in Korea or Japan — pure silence.

Talking to strangers is normal. When attempting to approach or date Asian girls, often you will run into this. Western women in Asia were like the Jennifer Anistons of the expat world. Strong, independent, assertive and outspoken, they were interesting to admire from afar, but no man would ever dream of striking up a conversation with one.

Western women were so different, so foreign, they were virtually un-datable. Not true for their Y-chromosome-carrying expat buddies though.

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While the female expats spent Saturday nights alone, crying into their Ramen bowls, their male counterparts drank freely from the dating pool like they owned it.

Which in a way, they did. This would never happen anywhere else in the world. Because everywhere else, Barbie ends up with Ken, not his underemployed, socially-awkward, samurai-sword-collecting neighbor, Kevin.

But in Asia, dating rules defy all logic or evolutionary law. In Asia, the nerd is king. Not that I wished it otherwise. For the most part, I was happy for them. They were true success stories.

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Who could blame them for taking advantage of a magical loophole that allowed them to date women out of their league? They were straight-forward and open-minded, for one thing. And through their Western, wire-rimmed eyes, they viewed relationships as an equal partnership, which was something the more traditional, close-minded of Japanese men still struggled to do.

I figured that so long as they treated their girlfriends well and both partners were happy with the arrangement, what did it matter if their peculiar quirks and bizarre comments got lost in translation a little?

Foreign boy VS Japanese boy: Who would Japanese girls spend a summer with?

Even the socially awkward deserved to love and be loved. But it was hard not to feel jealous. They were like kids in a candy store. The Japanese women were gourmet truffles, while the western women were the three-year-old tootsie rolls melted to the bottom of the barrel.